(The following story by Mike De Sisti appeared on the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel website on July 4, 2010.)
MILWAUKEE, Wisc. — Some use it as a time to sleep. Others use it as a time to read the paper, catch up on e-mail or gaze out the window reflecting on a rather mundane day at the office.
Passengers of the Hiawatha Amtrak train service from Milwaukee to Chicago expect little entertainment. A conductor alerting them to the next stop opens the show. A crying baby is the headliner of the 90-mile commute. A loud cell phone talker tees it up for the forgettable encore.
But don’t plan on zoning out if Marty Schall is on board. The popular lounge service attendant from Milwaukee quickly turns the hour and 40-minute commute into a lollapalooza of laughter.
“That’s all I do every day is come to work and sell snacks,” explains Schall with a laugh. The 52-year-old’s peddling of soda, candy and beer is a side note to the charismatic character he presents to his passengers.
His “junior conductor” paper hat he wears while pushing the snack cart through the aisle is evidence he’s not your average vendor. “Some people call it a schtick. I say it’s no schtick. It’s just me.”
Besides food and drink, Schall has an arsenal of toys and trinkets to keep things lively.
A few dozen Bay Shore Lutheran Church youth group teens on the train are in stitches as they are covered liberally in bubbles blown by Schall. Their laughter swells as he shouts out, “That’s girl cootie bubble disinfectant.”
It’s the simple gestures that separate Schall from other service attendants.
“Just so you know, if you order a carbonated beverage from me, I will come back later, flip you over my shoulder and burp you,” he informs a man in a suit who can’t help but laugh at the offer.
To Schall’s bosses, his ability to sell is no laughing matter. “He’s just a fixture. And his revenue is fantastic,” says Dan Valley, the Amtrak district manager.
Valley is responsible for crunching the numbers that reflect Schall’s ability to move product. Compared with other commuter trains, “He’s got a higher dollar-per-passenger ratio,” says Valley. Which is partly responsible for his longevity in the position.
When Shall first landed the snack-selling job 10 years ago, the first of its kind for the Hiawatha Amtrak train, he was told not to get used to the position. Now he continues to delight passengers in a variety of ways.
“He’s kind of psycho-ish,” admits 14-year-old passenger Kayla Evans of Waukesha before adding, “He gives you something to do, I guess, when you’re on the train.”
If you want to ride along with Schall, you can. He works Monday through Friday, departing from Milwaukee to Chicago on both the 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. trains.