(The following editorial by Bob Levey appeared in the Washington Post on May 21.)
WASHINGTON — Once upon a time, the prevailing sound of a train was the pocketa-pocketa of its wheels. Passengers behaved as if they were in church. No one guffawed, shouted or called out to a pal five rows away. And no one yelled into a cell phone about various banalities.
But today, trains are awash in noise. The cell phone is the key culprit, of course. No conversation can possibly wait in these supercharged times, so we Amtrak fans are treated to such overheard gems as. . . .
o “Hi! I’m on the train right now!” Did you really need to call someone to say that? Did you really need to pay for the privilege?
The Bob Levey Test works very well at moments like this. It asks: Would this conversation have been necessary, advisable or possible in 1987, before cell phones were invented? If the answer is no, a cell phone should never have been unfurled in 2003.
o “I’ll give you a ring when I get back to the office!” Fine. Do that. But why advertise the fact? Again, a waste of time and money.
o “Stephanie? How are you? It’s Bob. Good, good. Thanks. Great. Bye.” Was this business or pleasure? Does it matter? Stephanie’s day did not need to be interrupted for this cavalcade of pointlessness. The 30 people within earshot didn’t need to hear any of it, either.
Amtrak could have caved in to modern fashion and said, hey, nothing we can do about such assaults on ears and brains. After all, the national railroad enjoys a huge advantage over planes. Uncle Sam forbids cell phoning while flying. Amtrak allows it. So in the Northeast Corridor especially, permitting cell phones sells tickets.
But Amtrak has done well what airlines do so poorly. It has listened to its customers. They said they wanted a refuge from Cell Hell. Amtrak gave it to them.
It’s called the Quiet Car. It’s the first coach car on most trains that run between Boston and Washington. In that car, cell phones are verboten. So are loud conversations, of any kind and for any reason.
I have another word for the Quiet Car.
Heaven.
And I have these words for Denise LaBencki- Fullmer, Amtrak’s manager of onboard services, who knew a great idea when she heard it and rushed to institutionalize it.
If you’re ever looking for sainthood, Denise, give me a ring (but not on a cell phone). I’ll be glad to give you a reference.
The Amtrak Quiet Car makes train travel, already a great way to go, even better. It allows passengers to read, think, sleep, speculate, stare out the window, eat, flirt or just plain sit there, without some cell phone jangling to the strains of “London Bridge is Falling Down.”
The Quiet Car concept was born in the late 1990s. A group of 30 commuters regularly rode an Amtrak train that left Philadelphia, bound for Washington, at 6:05 a.m.
The Gang of 30 always rode together, in the first coach car behind the locomotive. The group revered silence. One day, a conductor was asked if the entire car could be declared a no-peep zone. The conductor said sure.
Denise soon heard about the group and the concept. In January 2001, she decided to test it on other trains, at non-peak times.
Passenger response was so overwhelmingly positive that Denise bagged the test within weeks. By July 2001, a Quiet Car had been officially established in most trains on the Northeast Corridor. The policy does not apply on weekends or holidays.
Amtrak spokesman Cliff Black said Quiet Car riders are allowed to use a silent laptop computer. The beep that it makes when you open the lid is permitted. However, any other electric device that makes noise is a no-no, Cliff said.
How well does the QC work? The other day, I hopped an Acela Express at Union Station and rode it up to Baltimore-Washington International Airport to hear for myself.
The reviews were mixed.
Even though the conductor announced twice that this was the no-cell-phone Quiet Car, one fellow couldn’t resist. He began chattering before we even had hit New Carrollton. He was promptly reminded of the policy by three passengers.
On the way home, I rode in the first-class section of another Acela Express. This is hard-charger-land. The seats were packed with people doing deals by cell phone and answering pages.
I’m not going to tell you it was the noisiest 20 minutes I’ve ever endured. But it’s very hard to look out the window and daydream about baseball when some clown is shouting: “Now, listen, John! Here’s what I think! At the end of the day, it’s, like, about what works!”
Will Quiet Cars catch on elsewhere? Donald Knapik, an Amtrak assistant vice president, said some trains in California have added QCs. They’re available on Amtrak runs between Albany and New York, too, he said.
But the QC does more than settle one’s nerves. It gave Denise LaBencki-Fullmer a special boost.
When she implemented the QC program, she was studying for a degree in organization management at Cabrini College in Radnor, Pa.
“I did a college thesis on it,” she said. “I got an A.”
They left off the plus, Denise. Well done.